May 17 2013

Congratulations! You Have Received a Meaningless Endorsement!

 

 

 

From: LinkedIn

Congratulations! Someone you couldn’t stand in college, or might’ve met once at a networking event, has endorsed you for the following skills and expertise:

silhouette

Being completely inactive on LinkedIn before engaging in a desperate flurry of activity when you need a job
Sharing countless articles from a niche web site to show how hip you are
Clicking Endorse, even though you have no idea whether the person you’re endorsing has this skill, because it’s just as easy to click Endorse as Skip

From: YouTube

Congratulations! Someone else who wastes hours of their life every day watching forgettable videos and reading uninformed comments has endorsed you for the following skills and expertise:

silhouette

Using homophobic slurs to suggest another commenter is stupid
Making racist comments
Posting “bieber iz awesum!!1!11!” after every video you watch, even if it has nothing to do with Justin Bieber or music generally

From: Facebook

Congratulations! Someone you think might be from your high school class, or maybe church, has endorsed you for the following skills and expertise:

silhouette

Ability to post status updates so vague that even you can’t remember what they were about the next day
Posting pictures of your children daily
Ability to adopt an online personality so politically extreme that your friends in real life don’t recognize you

From: Twitter

Congratulations! Someone you shared a middling interest with five years ago, or a local carpet store, has endorsed you for the following skills and expertise:

silhouette

Enthusiasm for tweeting about everything that goes into, and comes out of, your body
Padding five words of content with ten hashtags and @ mentions
Retweeting everything Seth Godin posts

From: The Washington Post

Congratulations! Someone else who reads this newspaper online every day without paying for a subscription has endorsed you for the following skills and expertise:

silhouette

Ability to turn any article into an indictment of Obama or political correctness
Speed of replying “Your n idiot” to any commenter who’s on the other side of an issue
Proficiency in wasting time at work

Share

Jeremy